How can I ensure that my Smiling baby
My ex-husband and his mother (plus other ex-clean family) have beaten me a few times in front of my two kids and the house and turned off all the power my children taken away from me. I could not have my babies when I got divorced. The children were out of my arms wrenched violently and cry, you can imagine there might be some imagine.
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My ex and his mother have long had my babies with them and their heads with all kinds of lies pumped. For example, that I had left. Their express down Now told my oldest (8 years, now back three years back to me) that she has her grandmother love more than me, her own mother, and that she hates me that I had left her in the lurch because that had grandma and dad told her. While there have been that it is not so many witnesses and that I can show that it is not so. Various proofs of her
The youngest (4 years) is mad with me. Now it is also true that two years ago, their father called me and told me to take the children. They said they wanted to be with me and he could do anything with it anymore. The oldest had been a few days locked in her room for punishment. His new girlfriend was on tranquilizers and he himself was also overwrought. He would put them on the street, he said if I did not pick them up.
Now it is also true that one of the children fur after a weekend dealing with the father in March last year and came back blue. Then I went straight to the doctor, and to the police station to report it. Why? Because of my ex girlfriend who had attacked in April 2006. Me even though
In June last year, it happened again (child abuse by the girlfriend of my ex) because I had to do to their children. Again in charge of the Youth While I still had warned that it would happen again, because this friend does not stop. She has already beaten the grandmother of my Smiling BaBy once unconscious. And in November last year, she has the court received a community service by two years probation.
So the father of my oldest puts her on the street, grandmother and the rest have taken from me the children, and grandmother also abused me several times. And yet they only hate me, she says. She has no respect and ill listen to me. She hugs me and kisses me do every day on the cheek.
They have already completed a program at lentis [formerly GGZ Groningen - ed.] And youth care, and I have already sought help.
I hold my breath. Because if the kids have to return to their father, it can happen what the policeman said, "Then you just might be able to get the next time a knife between your ribs For someone who so badly abused for no reason and every time. where your Smiling BaBy are, who knows no mercy. "
How do I get this pain out of my children? How do I get them safely to their father (without which Ms. violent with it)? How do I build with my kids again trust in people? They are the future and I want their love to give, with confidence and self esteem, and above all, with much love. If it is possible from both sides. So not only me but also my ex.
I believe that Smiling baby have a right to both parents. So there it is not. But it's not safe with my ex and his girlfriend. I let my kids and myself do not even mistreat once?
And then what? What happens then? How then does it end? After the horse has bolted it mutes the pit? I hope to God you can help. My babies They are very important. They deserve their happiness.
reply
You told a detailed story that despite the size and all the details are still many questions unanswered. For example, how is it possible that you initially, with the divorce, your Smiling baby got while you were out of your hands so rough torn. The judge found that an acceptable state of affairs? Common is it that little children are not just separated from their mother. Or were you not married and has no right to come to pass?
I wondered what exactly you mean Smiling baby
Also, I wondered what exactly you mean when you said that you have been calling for help. Again In itself seems to me that very well (and really the only thing you can do in such a case), but what help is that? Who exactly - your Smiling baby, yourself or the whole family? With what person or body? And do you trust the person or body is or is not? I have the impression not, because you would not otherwise expect. Themselves to Parents Online But why did you then do not trust? Is it perhaps the Youth Care Agency where you already have bad experiences because they are your Smiling baby after a previous assault and a warning from your side yet again left to go? Father
And then the last but most important question: what do you think we still could do, if there so many workers have been involved in this nasty divorce? From the police to the Youth Care Agency and the mental health care to a new person or body where you have just knocked?
Family Coach FOR Smiling baby
Do not misunderstand me: I love the fact that you so do your best for your kids, so I blame you anything. But how should we now have to address a problem that seems to have bitten so many workers? Solution via the Internet
I think you are right that the risk of accidents is very high. There you can not do anything, and neither do we.
I'd almost be inclined to pass on to the Minister for Youth and Families Rouvoet your question (and perhaps, the editors of Parents Online that still do). Look, I would say, what are you doing all this risk and electronic child records for it, like a blind horse can already see that things are not going well? The intention is that solutions are not the problems become more sophisticated defined.
And as Minister Rouvoet would ask: what do you think should happen? Then I would say: give such a broken home one contact. One help and support 24 hours a day and is available to control what should be. Regularly It is already thought in that direction, but it looks like there is still little in the practice of it. The word "family coach" is not mentioned in any case. While that in your case would certainly be very helpful.
What can you do FOR YOUR Smiling baby?
From the foregoing, you understand that we can do little. You This situation is just too hard to be just like that. Equally resolved via the Internet However, I can give you some practical tips.
1. very carefully what your current care provider (or the one you will soon) can do do for you. Can you consider him or her fiduciary? Can he or she help you in raising your children? He or she may settle things with regard to the visit to the father?
If one or more of these important tasks is not provided, you just need to find someone else. Your doctor can help. Perhaps the Council for Child Protection may also play a role. Herein And emergency call naturally AMK (Advice and Reporting Centre: 0900-123123 0).
2 You want your children to safely have contact with their father, but you have there is currently no trust. That means that trust must be restored, and that means you have to talk about this with him. He must know what your concerns are and he must be able to explain how he plans to take away. Those worries
From your story, I could not make out well or you can talk to your ex, at this moment or not, but if that does not work, you'll have to call an agent. If the property is your counselor can arrange that for you. And if it can not, or do not, we recommend that you get your doctor. There
3 If you are still uncertain about whether your children are safe when they have contact with their father (and in particular that there are no accidents can happen with his girlfriend there), you can get a "supervised visitation" try to arrange . The children see their father than neutral and safe ground in the presence of a third person. Those monitors and can intervene if need be.
4 You asked how your children can best help. That is of course mainly because they provide for their safety, an environment. Additionally, you must show them how strong you are, determine what is and is not happening. By itself
5. Finally, a tip for dealing with your daughter aged 8, who says she hates you. Try to understand that she has a nasty past, so she says. Take her complaints not literally and focus on giving love. At one point she will soon have to discover that her mother is not so bad.
I wish you much strength and success!
